I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
