at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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