OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize