I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
