We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
