Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize