I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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