I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
