would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
