Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
