jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the condom got lost in my hair
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
