I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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