3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He felt like a one man threesome
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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