So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
