Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
