he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I came so hard my ears popped.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
