I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
