this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
