I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I need moral support for this bender
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
