your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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