and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
