My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
