Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
