awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
