My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
