I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
