Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
