As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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