What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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