dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
