i just wanna soil my oats bro
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
