I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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