i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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