There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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