is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
