Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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