I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
