Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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