i already hear my dad disowning me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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