Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
