Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
