I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
