I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
