All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
