It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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