Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
