therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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