if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
