I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
