You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
