Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
