Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize