we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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