Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
