when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
