Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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