I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize