I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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