Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
