he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
