At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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