Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
