i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
