Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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