She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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