Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize