Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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