i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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