When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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