Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We have so much sex to catch up on
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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