Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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