There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
