i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
