Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
