I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
