if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
