So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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