yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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