forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
