i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
