we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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