Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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