I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
